


Ataashi

by LadySummerisle



Series: LadySummerisle's Canon Inquisition [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:51:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6389065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySummerisle/pseuds/LadySummerisle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a nauseous morning and a chance run-in with Cole, the Inquisitor and Iron Bull find out they're expecting.  Emotions run high as the couple explore their hopes and fears about the pregnancy.  </p><p>This story is a direct continuation of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4969183/chapters/11412142">Malika Rides the Bull</a>.  I recommend you read at least <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4969183/chapters/11412457">the last chapter</a> before starting this piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ataashi

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, everyone! I've been meaning to write this fic for a while, but finally got down to it when a reader suggested a drabble about Iron Bull's feelings at the end of "Malika Rides the Bull." Well, I'm not much of a drabblist, but I hope this fills the need anyway!
> 
> I plan to write a few more parts of this, so if you have technical concerns about dwarven-qunari breeding, they will be addressed.
> 
> If you're new to this storyline, hello! My Malika has a unique backstory that greatly influences her character and actions. You can read all about her in [Malika Rides the Bull](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4969183/chapters/11412142). It's all dwarfy and has to do with noble chasing and the caste system... Let me know in the comments if you're confused and I'll explain in more detail.

“He already wants, already wishes. He would call her Ataashi.”

Iron Bull was suddenly paying attention.  When Cole had started, he thought it was just another case of him bringing up past hurts, trying to help, but suddenly everything was different.  He was listening.

Malika let go of his hand and approached Cole tentatively.

“Cole… You have been acting strange for days now… Why… What are you on about?”

Cole looked her up and down.

“Two heartbeats.” He held his hand to her belly, “You are not alone.”

Malika stumbled backward from Cole and clutched at her stomach, her shoulders so tense they almost rose to her ears.  Bull cursed inside his head.  This was it.  His exact hopes and fears had come to life simultaneously.  The Inquisitor was pregnant… and she was not happy about it.

Cole’s words repeated in his head, and the name… Ataashi… They’d just been idle thoughts, nothing more.  At least, that’s what he told himself whenever they came to mind… which was several times a day.  He thought of it every time he saw a child roaming the grounds of Skyhold, and when he caught Malika in a rare quiet moment, smiling to herself—usually while polishing her leathers or reading an amusing report.  And of course, he would think about it at night as he held her close after filling her with his seed.  He knew very little about breeding beyond the basic mechanics, and even less about pregnancy.  Sure he had learned some things in Ben-Hassrath training, but that mostly dealt with how to spot someone trying to hide it.  He never even knew if it was possible for Malika and him, but Cole’s assessments were never wrong.

“Come on, Kadan,” He put his hand on her shoulder, and when she didn't budge, he swept her up carefully in his arms, “let’s go.”

He’d never told her what he wanted; partially because he was afraid of it himself.  Every step he took into this shared domesticity, the further away he grew from his heritage—the life he valued for so long.  He loved his new life, but so many of his thoughts and desires still seemed wrong.  And then there was the Inquisitor.  He’d never seen her fawn over a baby or go out of her way to engage with the children of Skyhold, although she would smile at them and humor them when they talked to her.  Between that and how she was raised—to become glorified breeding stock for dwarven nobles—he assumed she didn’t want children.  Holding her in his arms now, feeling her stiff and unresponsive body against his, he knew he was right.

As they entered the infirmary, all eyes were on them.  People paid attention to Iron Bull wherever he went, but he was even harder to miss when carrying the most powerful woman in Thedas.  A mage rushed over.

“The Inquisitor!  Is she alright?”

“I hope so,” said Iron Bull. “Where can we get some privacy?”

The mage led them to a small room off the side of the infirmary, and Bull sat Malika down on a cot.  Her eyes were wide and unfocused; she crossed her arms over her belly.

“What seems to be the problem?” Asked the mage, eyeing Malika with worry.

“I uh…” he was at a loss for words.  He hardly knew where to start, “I think… Can you see if she’s… pregnant?”

“Oh!” The mage’s eyes darted from Iron Bull to Malika and back again.  He was used to this reaction.  Everyone knew the Inquisitor and he were together, but sometimes when they were reminded that the massive qunari and the tiny dwarf actually _fucked,_ they were taken aback.  “Yes… Well… Wait here, please.  I’ll be right back.”

She left them in silence.  Bull pulled up a chair and sat down next to Malika.  He pet her hair and moved down to rub her neck the way she liked, but she remained stiff and impassive.  It was really beginning to worry him.

The mage returned with an older, elven mage, then took her leave.  The elven mage smiled calmly as she approached Malika.

“Your Worship, such an honor to see you on this…” The mage stopped as she saw the state she was in, “... Joyous occasion?”

Bull looked at Malika.  She said nothing.

“Alright,” said the mage, “lay back and I’ll see what I can do.”

Much to Iron Bull’s relief, Malika did as she was told.  So, she was still in there, just didn’t want to talk.

The mage lifted Malika’s tunic to right beneath her breasts and pressed her hand into her stomach.  She moved it around, occasionally pressing in harder.  After a while she came to a spot and said, “Ah ha!  Let’s see…”

She lifted her free hand, making a circle in the air with her finger.  The gesture created a magic image—a blurry orange-pink picture in the air.  It was completely indecipherable.  Bull squinted at it, then looked over to Malika, who was doing the same.

“Yes,” she said to Malika, “I know it’s a bit hard to make out if you don’t know what you’re looking for.  That dark area.” She said, pointing to a large, magenta splotch in the middle, “That’s your womb.  And this right here.” She pointed to a pink blob, “That’s your baby.”

Iron Bull’s heart skipped a beat and he felt a pulse of energy run through his body.  He didn’t know what to do or say, so he grabbed hold of Malika’s hand and and squeezed it tight while he stared intently at the pink blob, trying to figure it out.  Trying to see it as his child.  He noticed something.

“Why is it… that spot.” He pointed at the image, “Where it’s… I don’t know… flickering?  What is that?  Is it—she—ok?”

The mage laughed, “That’s it’s heartbeat, Ser.  And it’s a bit too early to tell if it’s a ‘she.’”

“Call it intuition…” He said, unable help the slight smile that came to his lips.   _A heartbeat…_ Just like Cole said, his little Kadan already had a heartbeat.

“Very well,” said the mage.  She took her hand off Malika’s belly.

“Wait!” Said Iron Bull as the image disappeared, “I have questions.  Yesterday… well, Malika, she was running around and jumping and then we...well, we had some really rough—”

“She’s fine—they’re both fine,” she said before he went into detail. “For now.”

“FOR NOW!?” He stood up, and the mage backed away, cowering before him.

“Forgive me!” She sputtered, clearly terrified.  She had misinterpreted his panic as rage.  Iron Bull clenched his fists against his rising emotion.  He had no intention of hurting her, but even the slightest outburst from him was certainly terrifying for anyone who wasn’t used to his size.  He was usually so in control, but the thought of losing his Kadan—of _anything_ happening to her, especially now—was enough to make him completely lose his shit.

“Forgive me…” she repeated, “We’ll just need some time!  You see, we’ve never—I’ve never—honestly, _you_ Ser, might be the person with the most experience—I’ve… I’ve never overseen a qunari pregnancy and I’ve never even heard of… What I’m trying to say is… the Inquisitor’s situation might be… _unique_.  I don’t even know what size qunari are at birth, but there’s a chance… I’m sorry, Ser, there’s a good chance she won’t be able to carry it to term.”

Iron Bull stepped back.  His stomach dropped.  He didn’t know what to think—didn’t know what to say—but the mage moved towards him.  She tentatively put her hand on his arm.

“But we will _try_ , Ser.  I’ll talk to Grand Enchanter Fiona at once.  She’s quite brilliant and… well, if _anyone_ can help… What I mean is, you’re in good hands… Your worship?”

Bull looked back at Malika, who was sitting up again with her arms crossed over her belly.

“Do _you_ have any questions?”

Malika looked forward in silence for a moment.  At first, Bull thought she wouldn’t speak, but she did.

“I’d like to go back to my room, please.”  It was a quiet, sheepish voice; completely bereft of her usual intensity.

“Yeah, alright Kadan.”  Bull bent over and picked her up.  He propped her against his shoulder and felt her arms wrap around his neck.  “Talk to Fiona,” he told the mage. “Have her come see us when she can.”

The mage nodded and they left.

Bull carried her back to their room the long way again, trying to avoid everyone he could.  The great hall was fuller than it had been when they left, but he was able to shake people off easily enough.  He walked up the stairs to the Inquisitor’s chambers and sat down on the couch.  He held her close and stroked her hair.

“Alright, Kadan,” he didn’t want to push her, but he had to know, “what’s on your mind?”

She drew in a shaky breath, and he felt her exhale against his shoulder.  She was silent for a while, but eventually he heard her voice, still quiet and unsure.

“That thing Cole said… he said… you wanted this?”

The question filled him with anxiety.  It felt embarrassing… like he’d been caught.  But there was no point dissembling now.

“Yeah, I did… I do.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know… I started seeing kids around and… You know…Well, look.” He pulled her away from his chest so he could look in her eyes. She glanced up at him, looking like a shy mabari puppy, then averted her gaze, “A kid could do a lot worse than having the two of us as parents.  She’d be smart and strong, probably faster than I can handle if she takes after you.  But that’s good; kids should be better than their parents.  That’s the whole idea behind breeding under the Qun.”

She recoiled.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to say it like _that_.  I just think we’d make a good kid.  And I know, Kadan.  I know you never wanted this.  But I think this would be good for us.”

Malika still wasn’t making eye contact, but he could see redness in her cheeks and her eyes had started to get puffy.  She breathed short, shallow breaths.

“But I—I do want this!” She let out a sob and pressed her face into his chest.  He held her close and stroked her hair, dumbfounded.  She sure wasn’t _acting_ like she wanted it.

“I just—” she said once she could form actual words, “I’m just—it’s s-so stupid, I’m sorry.  I’m just so scared!”

“Scared?” Said Bull, “What are you afraid of, Kadan?”

“I just don’t want anything to happen to her—I know it’s not...I mean, they can’t—but I don’t… I don’t want them to take her away!” She let out another loud sob and buried her face again.

Bull was beginning to understand.  He remembered what Cole said about her when they were walking to the healer, _“If that’s what it means, I will never bear children.”_ And he thought more about her previous life.  If her parents had gotten what they wanted, she would be a casteless concubine, living in constant fear of getting pregnant.  Best case scenario, she would give birth to a boy who would become a noble prick just like his father, and the worst case scenario?  A casteless baby girl who would be sacrificed to the darkspawn.  It wasn’t the fear of motherhood that made her hesitant; it was the fear of loss.  An irrational fear, given that she was the Inquisitor now, but Iron Bull knew all too well how hard it was to separate the truths of your past from the reality of the present.  No one would dare touch a hair on her child’s head, but that didn’t stop her from feeling that well ingrained sense of dread.

“And then what the healer said… I just don’t think I can do it, Bull!  I don’t think I can go through with this just to have it taken away.”

“I know,” he said, “it’s not going to be easy, but you’re the strongest, bravest, most capable person I know.  You eat demons for breakfast and close rifts with your bare hands.  You’ve lost _everything_ before, but you kept on fighting.  So maybe this won’t work. Maybe we’ll lose her, but if any dwarf in Thedas can carry a qunari baby, it’s you.  And if we do lose her, we’ll still have each other.”

She wasn’t looking at him, but he could see a smile inching upwards at the corner of her mouth.  She nodded.

“Alright?” He said.

“Ok.”

He kissed her forehead, then her eyelid, then her cheek, feeling the warm wetness of her tears.  She turned her head and surrendered her mouth to him.  Her arms wrapped around his neck and they both sighed with relief.  When their mouths separated, they kept their heads pressed to one another.

“Bull,” she said, “that name… Ataashi?”

“Yeah…?”

She sniffled and let out a quivering laugh.

“Ataashi Cadash… I like it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Follow me on Tumblr!  
> [Writing/Art Blog](http://ladysummerisle.tumblr.com/), [Fandom/Personal Blog.](http://malikafuckingcadash.tumblr.com/)


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